You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
