The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize