dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she woke up with a sticky ear
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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