Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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