Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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