I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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