You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
