Don't make out with my wife yet
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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