I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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