I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
