But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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