Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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