I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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