covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
