I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
