end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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