Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize