LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We are all done wearing pants today
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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