Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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