life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
