And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
