Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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