I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
