i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
