I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
