pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
