You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
