I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Randomize
