I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
