Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
