I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My penis needs a shock collar
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
