Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
my shit smells like andre
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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