So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize