I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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