I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
