how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
