even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
