Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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