She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
