yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
