the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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