If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
