I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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