A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
