I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
