he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
