So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize