I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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