My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
