you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
