For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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