ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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