The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
