you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
