im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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