Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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