ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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